30 Rock: Partial musings on turning 30 (Saying Thank You)

I shall start by quoting the opening lines of Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way

There is no better way to describe my year. So much has gone wrong and yet so much went right, and left and a little over that way. Yet as I ponder my birthday, I am grateful. I don’t know that I would do it any other way.

In the beginning as I despaired the state of my life, I chose to remember the people that have been there for me, stood by me and tolerated my shit. Being out of a job so soon in that year I decided I would dedicate this year to my friends and paying them back in kind…God knows I hadn’t a coin to buy them even a ‘rolex’.

To all the guys I met in Egypt, I cannot dare mention you all because 1) I probably can’t remember all the names 2) I can’t spell them right 3) Someone might get mad if I forget to mention them. But my flat mates both the ladies and guys apartment, you guys Egypt’s winter days livable.

To Hannington a friend in lean times, you are a man of few words but many stories. You believed enough in my dream to invest so much of yourself. I Hope that when I do make it in this photography business I can repay you one way or another.

To Diana, Beqy, Racheal, Pesh and Kamphat, my oldest friends both in time and age…lol…you guys have provided stability and way to remain anchored. You provide a window into the past and a reminder of where we have come from. I have the pictures to prove it.

Kamphat you have been a companion while I slowly came unhinged, with no judgment or condemnation you listened and allowed me vent. You have been extra special to me this season. I hope I can pay you back.

Edith, your belief in me has always been a buoy when the waves of uncertainty and doubt tossed me around. We have been friends and not friends many times but you have always been there when the dust settled. You saved my dreams and thus on many occasions saved me.

Adrian, I am sure you are shocked you are part of this list but for some reason you have always inspired me and challenged me. We have been through some pretty weird times and I you are a source of inspiration in these things of art and design. From the days in that windowless Equatorial mall office to Elemental Edge who you are has been an immense blessing. Just know I blow for you often.

Martin, gosh..this would have been a really terrible journey if you had not come along. Yours will be a short salutation mostly because Vegas never spills its secrets hehehe

Sarah and Jacky, even in this post you are together. Your unfettered love and compassion and generosity has made many gloomy days brighter. Just know that what you have done for me, well lets just say there is always room in my heart for you. There is nothing that you would ever need that if I had you I would not give you.

Sarah and Olivia, let’s just say that I am glad that some people still see the white underneath all the dark soot of life’s many battles. Why you have so much faith in me is still a mystery that I hope Is revealed soon kubanga me I am confused mob. Keep believing, it gives some of us hope.

Patience, there aren’t words to describe how we met. Random comes close naye it does not do justice. We have walked through some of my darkest and lowest moments, we have chatted, argues, laughed and more. I pray that I am there for you just as much as you have been for me. You deserve all the good life gives and more.

Odeke Onyait, you have been a constant challenge and inspiration. When I grow up I want to be as focused and ambitious as you are. May many good things come your way.

Allow me also to apologise. There are many friends that I let down massively this year. I am sorry. I hope that the gaff is not so big that we cannot overcome it but in the event that it is, well just know being your friend has been an honour and that I am grateful for the friendship.

When I am rich and famous and they ever asked me to write a book I suspect it would be a photo book with portraits of all the people who have been with me throughout this journey of life because each of you has taught me something that has changed my life or revealed something about me. You have nurtured and challenged my dreams and ambitions. You have supported and encouraged me, rebuked and corrected me, laughed and cried and simply shared life with me. For that I am grateful.

I simply could not have done it without you.

Imagine the Possibilities

I love the word imagine. It opens up possibilities and worlds like no other. In many regards its gives permission for people to let go of all restraint knowing that parameters have been set that allow them to safely dream.

Now imagine that these crazy ideas came true. What wonders would fill this world as each individual sought out that one idea that drives them daily or chased that fantastic invention or product. Indeed imagine.

Now imagine a world where every child was guaranteed not just good health, but an adequate education and after that a business mentoring opportunity geared solely to helping them achieve their full potential both for their self-actualization but also to improve their country.

Imagine a world where all businesses did it for the children. Child friendly policies i.e. no company invested in anything that would affect the welfare of any child be it psychological or environmental are the core of all company values. Imagine they did not just stop there but that they directly invested in children, education, parks, hospitals and research. Imagine a world where it was all done for the children.

The Child Rights and Business Practices seeks just this, a new approach to business centered around, not just the wellbeing of children but businesses that are investing directly in children. The first of its kind launched in Uganda, we join a global community of people that realize that children are the future and the present and investing in them ensures that our nation and our planet will have a tomorrow infinitely better than today.

Launched at an event at the Serena Hotel, the private sector, government and various CSOs gathered to reaffirm commitment and urge greater funding for children. For a country with more than half of its population under the age of 15 this push would serve to secure a better life for millions of children country wide.

Imagine this future. Now imagine we achieved it. Now let’s go do something about it.

One death too many.

I am back after ages with one very important message.

What would you say if I told you that every day over 40 people died daily? You would probably want to know what is killing them and where this killing is taking place.

What if I told you that this was going on around you, a silent epidemic of death happening across the country in health centers and homes across the country? All the victims of this epidemic are children under the age of five.

Just imagine the potential that is snuffed out daily. Yes I belabour the point of death simply because no one child should have to die from preventable causes some as simple as being able to make it to a health center in time.

18,000 children die daily in this country. 45% of child mortality is mainly due to malnutrition.1 in 18 children die before their first birthday while one in eleven before they are five.  Despite our ability to feed ourselves, 1 in 8 children go to bed hungry. These are some of the shocking statistics. There are many more that would break your heart.

Many of us don’t feel this because we live in urban centers and have ready access to health care systems. They may not be the best but there is a clinic or hospital within 10 minutes of most of our residences.

For mothers in the village, 2miles to the nearest health center is heaven. On average most have to walk 7 miles to receive any form of health care. We must and we can do something about this. We cannot sit idle back while countless lives are lost right in our back yard.

As a country we have achieved a modicum of success however we still need to do more to bring this number as low as possible.  

What can we do? For one educate yourself. One cannot change what they do not know or understand. 2. Engage, there are countless ways to be part of this campaign. You could support organizations like Save theChildren for one 3. Be pro-active. You have MPs, pester the. You have a voice, speak up. Raise awareness and let our governments and leaders no that we shall not stand for this. 4. If they will not help, gather like minded individuals from your area and adopt a health center or something.

Many health centers simply need things like surgical gloves, pain killers, mattresses or beds. We may not change the whole country in one sweep but we can save one mothers and child one small action at a time.

We now have less that 500 days to the deadline for the achievement of the Millennium development goal to reduce child mortality globally. Don’t stand idly by the side line. Be a part of the campaign in your own small way. Every child is you.

Why I signed the stop kutesa petition.

Let me be clear. No I did not think the petition would work and No I did not agree with the author of the petition riding on our (Uganda’s) unpopularity for its lay on homosexuality. Those were not the reasons I signed the petition.

I signed the petition as an act of defiance. It was An attempt however feeble at demonstrating my unhappiness with the state of my country. I viewed it as my chance to say to the powers that by, “I am unhappy” on a stage that was both out of their control and was in the lime light enough to draw some attention. It was a man’s plea for help in the passing headlights of a car despite knowing no one would stop.

I also firmly believe that for Kutesa to get that job would be a reward. It would be an endorsement of a man who while the law did not find him guilty is believed to have actually stolen billions for personal gain. For an illustrious organization like the UN such a tainted figure would not be allowed to take on such a responsibility.

Finally I hoped that this would be an opportunity for the above mentioned illustrious organization to prove itself true to its values. I have been proved wrong. I also viewed it as an indictment, a corner of ethics for the UN, a chance for it to hang itself with its own rope and in my books they have done so rightly cementing at least in my view their purely ceremonial and biased position especially in reference to third world politics.

That said there is a silver cloud to this dark lining. To take up his post Mr Kutesa will have to resign his position as a Member of the Ugandan Parliament. This means that his constituents get a chance at electing a new representative who hopefully will fight for their benefits and concerns. This too is an opportunity for the opposition to fill a vacant seat in the house and sway and already imbalanced legislature. If the Luwero by elections are anything to go about this, is a great possibility.

It also allows room for a moderate ruling party member to take his place either in parliament or as minister of foreign affairs. There are many among them that would be better suited. And if none should take his place that is of greater ethical grain…well we lose nothing.

Greatest of all good fortune is that this role thrusts him into the lime light. This is 365 days of full on international scrutiny from home and abroad into not just his alledged corrupt tendencies but his leadership and more. I cant wait to see what this light shall unearth.

In the interests of balance feel free to read these other articles on the subject and make up your own mind.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/ganzi-muhanguzi-isharaza/on-kutesa-uganda-and-being-a-patriot/741067942582873?comment_id=741323862557281&offset=0&total_comments=46&notif_t=note_reply

http://www.monitor.co.ug/OpEd/Commentary/Sam-Kutesa-has-many-critics/-/689364/2337314/-/sl8d5t/-/index.html?fb_action_ids=10152440370840605&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

Following your dreams. Part…I forget.

Being the social media fan in the first stages of addiction that I am, the first thing that I reach for when I wake up is my phone. I turn it on, hit refresh and see the notifications come pouring in. this morning was no different except for the fact that I was sneezing like Capra aegagrus hircus which for all the rest of you is a goat.

So I came upon this copied text attributed to Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, one of my favourite Shows when I have access to DStv.

”Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you”

I was like ouch. The truth of the statement hit me. This was me mostly any ways. But then I also hated on the person who posted it because they had it all together and seriously it sounded like some self-righteous drivel. That and many other thoughts and feelings races through my mental synapses in like the older brothers of a nano second known as minutes.

But I stopped myself. I brushed it aside. I would think about it later.

The funny things about social media and the internet, actually the media as a whole, they show only part of the picture. For every story, post, tweet, angle, there are several more to choose from, the story in the story, behind the story besides the story. As a journalist I should know.

The same is true for this brief excerpt of words of wisdom that Mike shared with us. This brings me to the crux of this article. Call it lessons I have learned from those around me as I chase my dream.

Do not judge yourself by the stories of the successful. Even in their most “candid” biographies the difficulties are skimmed over the successes glorified. I have read my share of these and they all seem to imbue the subject with special skill and what not. There are exceptions to these rules but many of them will leave you feeling…well feeling.

Don’t pace yourself like these people either. Different country. Different time, Different circumstance. Okay so person x started early in business by selling lemonade and from these early seeds a company was born…highly unlikely. There are all those years In between no one is telling us about. It’s like the dark ages or Jesus, no one knows what he was doing between ages 12 to 30. Set rigorous goals for yourself based on your knowledge of yourself with one notable exception, they should always even if ever so slightly exceed your limit. That way you shall keep growing.

Ask questions. Better a stupid question than a stupid mistake. Read all you can. I believe that the simple act of reading, anything and everything lends value in itself. Try these for a start. Immerse yourself in the field one way or another and shimmy up to people within your reach that can teach you. This last point is key. One thing I have found about Uganda’s so called successful is that their attitudes and manner to people who were where they used to be is lacking. So actually find someone who will teach you not just use you as a tool…

Embrace failure. Why you ask? It will happen and sometimes it’s the best evaluation of our whole selves. Failure is my greatest enemy and my greatest ally. However do not start an affair with it. Keep it close but not too close.

Be curious, always. Perhaps you could add be brave and be adventurous. Sometimes as you try to knock down a wall on one side, a door might open on the other. Take the side paths and the detours. Sometimes they have benefit in themselves. The best route to your destination is not always a straight line. We all start from somewhere.

Seize opportunity, any opportunity that affords you the chance to learn.

Follow the rules, break the rules, and toss out the rules. Key is, sometimes there are no rules. Make some along the way. In all you do, the only way to get to where you need or want to be is to stay aware of your destination and whatever the road is, keep walking.

P.S> here is the whole link to that Mike Rowe article. When you read the whole thing it puts that little excerpt in perspective. Here is to your dreams coming true. Keep walking.

I AM AFRAID OF BEING SPIRITUAL (probably this is part 1)

I know weird right?

In my senior four vacation, I attended every almost every overnight (all night prayer). Those that know my church know this was no ordinary feat. There used to be on a good day 10 people in a cavernous cathedral with only one drum and two hoarse and sometimes off key worship song leaders and the endless hours of the night ahead.

In my senior years of my secondary education I was at church every evening. My school was a walking distance away and so this was not particularly hard. But I was there literally every evening even on days when I was doing my final papers.

I volunteered for every mission and outreach program or activity I could. I was part of the youth team responsible for camp prayer and boy did we pray. I prophesied, dreamt dreams and saw visions. There were words of knowledge and works of faith. I prayed for hours and read books by the spiritually mighty, every biography or text about anointing, spiritual warfare, gifts, prophecy, prayer, miracles and more was my daily reading diet. I was in the mix. But I don’t do that any more.

What happened?

Did I backslide?

Have I lost something?

I don’t know?

I guess something snapped, broke, or shattered into too many pieces to put back together. I don’t know. I just know that the things that I used to do and feel so proud of I no longer do and care little for. According to some I am less spiritual.

Do I still read my Bible? Yes. A little less religiously but I peruse through it from time to time. It’s still difficult now as it was back then. Do I still pray for hours? Yeah….if you combine all the minutes and seconds that I fire questions and mumbles and random thoughts at God, they do come to a couple of hours. I don’t do much of the outside gymnastics though.

So this morning I woke up early and decided to pray, asking God that I would be closer to him and such and the moment a picture of that earlier spiritual lifestyle flashed into my head I recoiled. I don’t want to be spiritual like that. Instead what I am now suits me. And what is that?  I will tell you.

I am broken. I am fed up. I am tired and I am real. Why do I prefer it this way? Well it’s easier to live life. I don’t have to prove anything to God or man. I don’t have to have it all together all the time. I don’t have to know all the answers. Prayer is simplified. Faith is simplified. Life is simplified. I don’t have to rack up "spiri" points to qualify or do the "spiri" stuff to fit in. I don’t have to walk the walk and talk the talk of the church simply that of the faith I have chosen.

I sin a lot. I repent a lot. I am committed a lot. I walk, I stumble, I fall and I crawl but ever forward is my motion. I am unsure and uncertain most of the time but my next step is assured and illuminated and that’s all that matters. I have no success; I need no success…well not in the common understanding anyways.

I am hungry but I am full. I am weak, constantly but aware that there is a power assigned to me. I don’t like going to church or attending services except perhaps for the fellowship that follows the religious gyrations of the service. I am steadfast but always changing, evolving growing.

I know where I want to be, need to be but I am content with where I am knowing that I am always a traveller, constantly pack and ready even though the sojourn last a while. I am content with the house but always looking out the window to the distance, waiting for the call, the urging. Then I will gather my things, sweep my abode and walk, looking back no further on towards what is real and truly spiritual…whatever God reveals that to be.

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.(why mega churches are wrong)

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If there was one sentence that would personify my sentiment it would read simply “I am tired”

Before you scroll on expecting another rant…hmmm…I guess you should scroll on because this is indeed another rant but one worth reading…I hope.

I shall start with the title of this piece. Wikipedia refers to The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier as “a monument in dedication to the services of an unidentified soldier” and were first suggested during the First World War. The tomb normally contains the body of a fallen soldier deemed unidentifiable and this representative of the many heroes that fought to defend their nations and freedoms.

The stories of soldiers of yore who even as history considered confined them to the wrong side of the conflict still fought for the same reasons the good guys did, and died defending those ideals. To give the ultimate sacrifice takes courage and humility. Many a soldier will get a medal but even more will die unknown deaths and therein is my conundrum.

So here lies the start of my rant. I am tired of mega churches and super star pastors. I am tired of the Hollywood style pulpit sets and the media tweaked TV spots, programs and promotions combined with the well-oiled social media machine. I am just simply tired of the self-conscious self centered churches of my day and age.

Jesus was famous but he never advertised. I highly doubt he would have built mega synagogues. I am sure of these because Jerusalem probably had some big ones out there and he could have taken ownership and turned them around. But he did not. He actually seemed to not care too much about what people said about him except when it was to push The Gospel.

So why do we do all these things. Being a journalist I understand the need to get our message out. In fact I think with all this tech is just silly not to do so. But who is at the center of these publicity spots, is it Jesus or the “man of God”?

Let’s take those mega budgets and actually turn them to helping the communities in which we live and in which our churches are located. Build a school, open a home for vulnerable teens, run a soup kitchen, start an adult literacy programme, initiate crisis pregnancy centers, start a carpentry workshop, fix a road, drill a borehole, for goodness sake do something that actually benefits the community long after your church building will be long and gone.

When I get to heaven I shall look down in shame because we spent millions of beautification while at the same time cutting down outreach budgets, we bought stronger locks for our doors just to keep unwanted people out and promoted a brand of Christianity that placed the building and the service men above the heart and mission of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I believe like that soldier we are called to give of our lives daily for our family, friends, nations, continents and the world in general and like that soldier the only fame we should be is that we have been given and not that we seek.

Here ends my rant.

Thanks be to God.