The Other Prodigal Son
Luke 15:28
My life would be
an almost perfect picture of the obedient son. When people come and share their
lives with me as they often do, some of them say, “it’s now your turn” and I
look at them glumly. Granted, from my exterior expressions and perhaps the
“legend” that has grown around who I am one would think my past is filled with
many a tale of reckless adventure, wanton enjoyment and hedonistic pursuits of
every kind.
Like the sad
realisation that a movie trailer was more exciting than the movie itself, I
have nothing to offer in way of exciting life stories. I never drank or clubbed
or did any of the things that rebellious teenager do. I was not one to fool
around with girls. I was too shy and many times occupied with all my books and
fantasies.
Past teenage
years was the post puberty/campus scene where you had the freedom to do as you
please for as long as the term persisted. This stage was supposed to be defined
by multiply sexual conquest for those that may have not started in high school.
This was not the case. My whole three years in university and only 3 girls
visited my room.
Come work and
even there I was as docile as a blind rabbit…or even more. 9 months in a
foreign country, the longest I had been away from home, did not produce any
wonders either except the challenges of a growing man striving to please God.
All this time I
was absolutely straight as an arrow could be. Was a leader in church, tried to
live responsibly and do all that good church boys do ad infinitum.
My only major quirks
were my long hair, dirty baggy jeans and rather uproarious laughter couple with
all the traits of a sanguine-choleric personality. Nothing to world changing I
would say.
Fast forward a little
and I am in my early “adulthood”. I have worked a couple of jobs, quit one and
labour through the other. I have developed both as a person, a writer, an
artiste and more. I have even made the transition into full time ministry, the
holy grail of service to God in the church. From what people say I shall be
joining the ordained ministry soon or at least eventually. I am the “PERFECT
CANDIDATE”. God help the church.
But deep down I
feel like the other prodigal son. I feel unappreciated and unaccomplished. I
feel like Jeremiah who cried, “I have been deceived and greatly deceived”. Like
Job I feel like I have toiled in vain. Like Ezekiel I feel frustrated and like Jeremiah
again I feel like my words from the Lord bring me nothing but grief. This
prodigal son feels so unappreciated…isn’t there some good to be reaped from
walking the straight and narrow this side of heaven.
I read the story
of the prodigal son again today and I even looked through some commentaries.
There is all this jazz about him representing the Pharisee and that is well but
I am not a Pharisee both physically and metaphorically. I am at “good” boy
feeling low, low, low. I want my calf to share with my friends or at least some
respite from this burden of being un-accomplished. Ah??
I view this
story from a totally human perspective, or real perspective and I see where the
brother is coming from. We do not see his response after what the dad says but I
suspect his answer would have been something like even so I still feel this
way.
