This series is something that I have always
wanted to write but is one of the hardest things to write. It is hard because, despite what I think of
my dad, he is my dad and I love him. I don’t want in any way for what I say to
shame him.
However even as much as I love my dad I want to
speak and speak out. I want to speak out because no one has ever given me the
permission or the place to speak, to pour my heart, share my grief and shout my
frustrations.
Something about the African society just goes
all mysterious when it comes to parents or adults. But also the blatant abuse
of the responsibility of fathers is clear. I want to ask why anybody isn't speaking up. I am surprised with
tradition, culture and scripture. Children don’t speak to, about or against
adults. This is not our culture. Honor your father if you want to live long.
But sometimes I want to ask, what about the
children, these little eyes, ears, feet and hands all unified by this mind. Won’t
these little people readily propagate the same hurtful and damaging cycles
their parents initiated? Is it a wonder that Ugandan society seems to be
spinning a little off centre.
I may not be the best or the right person to
speak, but if I cannot let the evidence all around you speak.
There is the little girl who somehow ended up
at my church early in the morning with the thought to end her life.
There is the little girl whose was abused by an
uncle and when she spoke to her parents the pride of the clan was greater than
her pain.
What of the family that endures the
unfaithfulness of their father. Something everyone including friends knows to
be happening.
The family that has to go through a divorce after
many many years of marriage because of infidelity.
The son who “run" away from home simply
because at a friend’s home, he found a sense of family, something he said he
had never experience while in his father’s home.
The girl who believes she is curse simply
because her mom say such dreadful things about her.
The boy who struggles with self-image because
his dad told him he would amount to nothing.
You can fill the spaces with examples ad
infinitum
I know nothing about parenting but I know a lot
about being a child staggering under the weight of my father’s actions, words and
more and yes honour parents, respect culture what whatever is done to the least
of these is done also to Jesus and trust me some of it isn't pretty.
So what is a father’s greatest gift? It’s not
education though that important. It’s not clothing or housing or all that other
stuff that parents have a duty to provide. Put simply its love. Because love
empowers us to be more than just dutiful adult person we can grow to be all
round human being brining life and healing to a world sorely in need of it.
No wonder Christ’s major work was love, not the
material gifts of a gracious God.
