PUSHING BACK THE SUICIDAL
THOUGHTS, RACING TO THE TOP SEARCHING FOR ONE LAST BREATH THE CURTAINS OF
DARKNESS SWING BACK. I STUMBLE, BREAK THROUGH...THERE IS NOTHING THEIR ONLY
THIN AIR...FALLING, FALLING, FALLING
Even I cannot keep up with my
dark thought. Breaking through the glass, shards flying everywhere ironically
my hands shield my face from the pieces of sharp glass daggers, as if that will
make a difference when I strike the floor with terminal velocity.
Black and white Canvas “all
stars” adorns my feet. White laces dangle loose in the crisp morning air. I am
pretty stylish an unlikely bird that I am today. Everyone must dress to meet
their maker you see. Dark blue jeans with the light fade, gray sweater with the
wolf teeth design, pink white and grey I believe with my starched whites
underneath.
A billions bits of light reflect
in the glass as my hair, bronzed by the back lit sun, hallo my head. An angel
without wing soars down…Falling, falling, falling.
It’s all pretty surreal to me
now. Walking the long flight of steps, standing in the hallway, the deep breath
and then the slow building run and then the massive thigh –thrust-lunge through
the glass. Even though this is the final cut in the last scene of my life, i
still raise my hands to shield my face. Elbows meets glass and for a fraction
of a second resist but soon give way.
Fissures race outwards from the
point of impact and from those, smaller cracks spread and even more from those.
In a fraction of a second the glass shuttered as my feet left the floor and I hurled
the rest of me through the glass. My swan dive had begun. Where it will end we
shall soon begin.
A woman walks the streets all
adorned in the latest fashion. Her stiletto heeled white leather boots keep
time with her brisk determined step. There is a scream from across the street
and a loud thud four feet in front of her. Glass rains down everywhere. “oh
look, spot of blood on her boots…”
